Almost 9 Months

Ariana has had more doctor visits than I would like, however, I have so much to be grateful for. Yesterday we went to the doctor's office because her symptoms of croup are coming back. I explained to the doctor, which happen to be the same one she saw at the hospital, that we saw an allergist and he prescribed pulmicort and xopenex, an asthma preventative/anti-nflammatory. And I told him it helped, however I was concerned if it was croup, how the treatments would negatively affect her. It was interesting to hear him say that it appears this may be a form of asthma and he didn't think about that when she was in the hospital, but since she saw the allergist and the treatments were helping to continue and actually increase one. He said if it was croup, she would have to come to ER if it happened over the weekend. I just praised God for mother's instincts, because this was the doctor that told me she did not need to go to an allergist. It's a great reminder that God's hands are on Ariana.

Today she got her synergis shot, which prevents RSV, so she is not a happy camper.

Next Thursday we see the Pulmonologist.

Back Home

We got home yesterday. Ariana is doing better but still not 100%. I was discouraged because they say to just be prepared to make these trips throughout the winter months. They say she was born at 25 weeks and with the narrow airway, colds will affect her this way. They won't prescribe the epi treatments for home use, which is the only reason I would need to go to the ER. I feel like I have to expose her to many other illnesses by taking her to the ER if the offices are closed which they usually are when she has gotten bad. I know I have to trust there is a reason for this, but I just want more answers. We are even wondering if there's something triggering it in the house. It's so hard to not want to try and take full control to get all the answers, but I know I also need to let God be in control and have faith in His amazing love that will not fail us.

At The Hospital

Ari was admitted to the hospital today. We hope she will be sent home tomorrow. Last night she was having trouble breathing again. This time to the point that her oxygen levels began dropping and she turned blue. We still have oxygen and were able to immediately get her on it and I rushed her to the closest ER...which was Virtua. Virtua gave her steroids and a treatment and had her transferred to Cooper so she could receive better care.

God is so good. About a month ago I told the doctor we did not need the oxygen anymore and he said lets keep it for another month and see how she does; since she had croup 2x. If we did not have that oxygen last night; it would have been so hard waiting for an ambulance.

I'm just taking a break and need to get back to her. Daddy is at the hospital with her while I came home to rest a bit and shower before heading back for the night.

2nd Hospital Visit

Last night I took Ari to the ER with croup again. It's the 3rd time she has it in 2 1/2 months. She was given steroids and a treatment. But this time her breathing still sounds bad so I was concerned. They asked me if I wanted to keep at the hospital but that would only expose her to more. So I decided to bring her home, we still have her oxygen/heart rate monitor and oxygen that we can use; so hopefully the steroids will bring the swelling in her throat down and we wont need to do anything else.

At the ER she gave a me a huge scare. They were holding off on giving her a treatment which would reduce the swelling in her throat because the doctor originally did not think she had croup (mother's usually know best). I kept asking for it and he would kinda brush it off and say it doesn't sound like croup. Within minutes her oxygen levels started dropping and she appeared to be gasping for air. She was trying to cry but couldn't get enough air to do so. I called the doctor in and he immediately handed me the oxygen mask and called for the treatment "stat" and other doctors. They started listening to her chest for air moving and I had to hold her down and hold the mask on her face while they checked her and waited for the treatment to kick in. And it did kick in quickly, even though it seemed like forever. She calmed down and just looked in my eyes with a scared look, the way she'd look at me when she was in the hospital. She was sleeping within minutes after that. I was shaking, I hadn't realizing how much it scared me. I realized the doctor also got a scare, as he told Ari, "Don't ever scare me like that again."

I slept with her all night. Her breathing still sounds bad and last time she didn't sound so bad after leaving the hospital. So I just need to ask God for discernment and trust Him in this.

Bath Time, Then and Now!

She's in the same bath tub.

1st ER Visit...All Better Now

I had to take Ari to the ER on Monday. Overnight she started having trouble breathing and it sounded like croup again. This time it just developed over a few hours and I was concerned about waiting a few more hours for the doctors' office to open...it was 430am. I called the doctor and they told me to take her right in. She was given steroids and an epi treatment (sort of like an asthma treatment - however it treats inflammation in the upper airway and up to the throat area). They monitored her until 1pm and sent us home. Thank God we didn't have to stay.

Aside from a stuffy nose, she has been fine. I wondered what God was trying to show me this weekend. I was in the ER with Mikayla on Saturday. DJ wanted to play fight and was hitting her, while she tried to get away, she slipped and fell. She bled - a lot! She got 4 stitches under her eye...she slept as they stitched her up. She did great and after she said, "Mommy, I don't want DJ to get punished, I forgive him." It was great to see her heart for DJ. Afterwards, she picked out a toy for her and one for DJ. She taught me a great lesson that night.

Our Scare Last Night

Last night Ari cried every time I put her down. The only way she would stay calm was by laying (lying - not sure which one...I always struggled with this in school) on me. She does not cry much and she cried as if she was in pain. This went on til about 2am, I thought we'd end up in the ER, thank God we didn't. Finally I put her on her belly on her boppy pillow between my legs, I put her monitor on, and went to sleep - kinda. (Please note the only reason I can put her on a boppy pillow, on her belly is because she is on a monitor that will alarm if her oxygen or heart rate drop...I don't recommend anyone do this!)

I think she may have just had a tummy ache, but still trying to figure it out. I'll be keeping a close eye on her to see if anything throughout today triggers it again.

I had a tough day yesterday, so to end it that way was hard. I could not help but think about what would happen if we did go to the ER and everything she would go thru, I couldn't help but think if it could be signs of the "stuff" they say she's at risk for, a lot went thru my mind. It's so easy to take our focus off of our trust in the fact that all things in our lives happen for our own good, when our faith is in God.

Today God put it in my heart to praise Him through the storm, to focus on Jesus and I won't sink. My daughter forgot her binders and called me for the second day in a row, begging me to take her binders to school or she'd be in big trouble. I usually let them get in trouble because I feel they need to learn responsibility and if I bail them out all the time, how would they learn it. But I took them, and as I drove to her school and back I listened to a song that said, "thru the storm, yet I will praise Him, thru good and bad You remain the same, King of Kings." It encouraged me and reminded me that God does not change.

New Pic!!!

We went to the zoo this past weekend and had a great time. The older two are part of Children Song Choir and they performed at the zoo - we got free tickets :) I almost left Carlos with the monkeys but then I figured I needed him.

A little side note:
This weekend Carlos and I also went to Harvest 08, it was a Christian Crusade, with a great speaker, Greg Laurie. It was pretty cool to see a bunch of Jesus Freaks and those who weren't but were saved by the end of the night...they said the first night almost 1000 people committed their lives to Christ. We really got to think of eternity...Greg Laurie's son died a few months ago at the age of 33, in a car accident and it shows us that each day is not promised; we can die at any time and where do we want to spend eternity at.

Back to our little miracle - she's 12lb 6oz. I'm trying to get her into her own room. It was hard enough getting her bassinet away from our bed and against the wall; so we will see how that goes. She is talking away, a lot of cooing. She is just a good baby, she fights falling asleep at times, but rarely cries.

This weekend we may go back to my parents house in the Poconos...I'll keep you posted ;o)

Sorry - It's been awhile...

Hi Everyone, Sorry for taking so long to give an update or pics. I will post new pics soon. Life has been a little crazy. My dad had heart surgery about 2wks ago, my brother moved to Florida (which Carlos and I helped with and drove down), I'm trying to start homeschooling, and now we are all sick (almost all of us).

My dad is doing ok, I've been helping out with caring for him so it's taking a lot of my time. The drive to Florida was an experience. We took Ari with us, she did great, until our ride back and she had enough of her car seat. We drove straight down Friday, with my brother's step son and their dog - 22hrs with many stops. We checked in to a hotel at around midnight, then the dog was fascinated with Ariana and just wanted to love on her. He is a 75lb boxer, so once we got him settled in his cage, we slept. Ariana didn't seem to mind him licking her feet. Saturday we helped get things unloaded from the truck, mostly Carlos helped while I stayed with Ari. Then we headed back to Jersey. We stopped Saturday night and Sunday night since Ariana protested loudly when I put her in her car seat. Her poor bottom was sore, she cried whenever I changed her diaper too :(

We got back Monday and she had a scheduled doctor's appt. and is doing great. She weighed 11lbs. 6oz. She's eating cereal and loving it. She tries to grab her toys, loves to have her hands in her mouth, and smiles a lot. Monday Carlos came back sick and yesterday Ari and I woke up sick. Kayla is also sick, Aliyah is getting over being sick, DJ showed signs of a runny nose this morning, and Mia was sick last week. Ari is breathing very loud so I'm taking her to get checked later this afternoon.

We have pics from our Florida trip...I will post them soon. Thank you all for your patience and dedication to checking on Ariana.

First Cold

Ari woke up yesterday with a stuffy nose :( I put saline drops and suctioned her nose all day and night. In spite of it, she's been fine. No coughing, thank God! We thought of calling the doctor but since the stuffy nose is the only symptom...I think she's fine.

First Weekend Getaway

We spent this past weekend at the Poconos with the kids, Abuelito and Abuelita Vazquez. We had a great time. It was nice to be able to go away with Ari for the weekend and not have to worry about oxygen or even the monitors. She's still on the monitors but mostly at night. She should be close to 9lb this week. We have an appt. on Thurs. for a check up since she is done with meds.

Finally, here are some new pics and videos. I always try to remind myself where we were and where God has brought us.

Almost 5 mo. but Really 1 1/2 mo.

Hi Everyone, Ari was 8lb 4oz at last weeks appt. She has been gaining 1lb every 2wks. I need to get new pics. I feel bad not posting new ones, I've been very busy. My sister is babysitting Ari while I get my house cleaned and organized. I feel like this house has gotten out of control and I haven't been able to get a handle on it. And Ari loves to just be held (it's all our own fault). We are actually trying to work on putting her down more since we have spent some days holding her practically all day. It's a blessing to have Sharon sit with her while I do house stuff.

Recently I have been struggling with her age - almost 5mo but really 1 1/2. We have been getting out more and every time someone asks how old she is, I don't know what to say without feeling like I'm rambling on or trying to explain her age. It's weird and sad because I know people will look at her and think she's really small. Or maybe I fear people will think something is wrong with her - I don't know why I have a hard time on "how I should answer this question." I think that rolls into this other feeling I have - she's been a newborn for 5 mo. You know how people say to their little ones, "I wish you stayed like this forever." I don't. I realized God gave us stages in everything in life for a reason. Our children grow up for a reason. And for those special moms and dads of kids with disabilities such as not ever going beyond a certain age mentally - God has given them an astounding amount of grace. Ari doesn't smile on purpose yet (only when she's half asleep), she's doesn't reach for things, or hold things, and since I've been out and seen other babies her age - it's made me think of this. Don't get me wrong - she has come such a long way and she is amazing. I guess I'm just getting anxious.

Tomorrow I'm doing the kids yearly pics that I do. So I should have new pics by the weekend.

4 Months

Ariana is 7lb 8oz and 19 1/4 in. long. She got her 4mo. immunizations the other day and we heard her scream and cry the loudest we've ever heard her. It was a bitter sweet moment. I didn't know she had such a voice. Since she has the soft trach (trachial malaysia) from the tubes going in and out of her throat, her voice is still squeaky and she doesn't have a loud cry...until the other day. I guess 3 shots would give anyone a voice :(

She continues to be an amazing little girl. She loves to be held and talked too. I love to watch her eyes and expressions when I talk to her. I often remember all the times I couldn't hold her and when I hold her now, I can't help but continuously thank God for giving me/us that opportunity each and every day. God continues to bless us through Ariana and show us so much of His glory.

Broke 6lbs :)

She has been such a blessing to our family. She weighed 6lb. 1oz at her last visit to the doctor. She also passed all her developmental tests. Nights can go either way, while she's not a screamer, she is sometimes fussy. And of course, any little move she makes, I'm up looking at her. She is only on oxygen for her feeds and will be off very soon. Her monitor hasn't gone off much, thank God, cause when it does...it scares us out of our sleep. She's just amazing. Carlos is just in love with her.

Home

We couldn't imagine this day coming soon enough. We have been so grateful to have her home. Ari is doing well. She weighs 5lbs. 3oz. and maintaining her 17 1/2 in. for some time now. But the cheeks and those chinS keep growing.

Once she falls asleep at night, she's a good sleeper, well good meaning 5 hrs; only because I'm really not suppose to let her go past 4hrs yet. Getting her to settle down seems to be the challenge. She falls asleep by 1am on a good night and 3am on a "I just want to held" night...which I'd gladly do if I could stay awake. She's amazing. The kids are just crazy about her and so happy she's home. We are so blessed.

Coming Home Today!

Ariana comes home today! She had her tests (eyes, mri, and camera in airway) and all is well. She was put back on the nasal cannula, so she will be home on oxygen, a monitor, and medications. We are so excited yet very nervous. Thank you all again for your support during this time. Now we begin a new phase, we look forward to making you all a part of it.

Ari in Action

Here's a little video clip of this beautiful little girl God has blessed us with. I can sit and watch her for hours and am reminded of how awesome God is and everything He did and is still doing.

No More Tubes!

Yesterday Ari was taken off her oxygen, except for when she's taking her bottle. And her feeding tube was taken out. We can finally see her cute little face without anything on it. Last night's nurse said she was up most of the night. I thought it was great because she's more alert and interested in looking around but felt bad because I wish I could be there to hold her.

We know she'll be home before we know it. We are in the final stages. Monday she has an MRI, Tuesday the camera down her throat, and a 12 hour test that will check her heart rate and oxygen levels. Carlos and I get to watch a few videos on car seats, CPR, and care. Finally, we will bring our car seat in and they will begin to sit her in it to get her ready for riding in it and to ensure she maintains her oxygen levels. And the day she leaves we will learn how to use the monitor she will come home on. This week we also will begin working with the kids on washing hands constantly and using hand sanitizer constantly. All of this will happen within the next few days.

Almost 3 Months

Ariana has been taking almost all her bottles by mouth. She has also been on room air most of the time and gets a little oxygen for her feeds. Last Thursday the eye doctor checked her eyes and found that (as many preemies do) she had Retinopathy, which is an eye disease that causes blindness if not treated. He also felt it had progressed past a point than he allows before performing surgery. So that evening he did laser surgery on her eyes. Ariana was sedated which really worried everyone, since many babies have to be intebated (get the breathing tube) and we all know she had a very hard time coming off that breathing tube; only because her airway is damaged from having it in and out so many times. And she still gets very squeaky because of the damaged airway. We were extremely grateful that she did well and did not required the breathing tube. We won't really know the full results of the surgery for another 2 weeks, but we do know that she will not have peripheral vision due to the tissue that was damaged. Our prayers are that the rest of her vision will be great.

About her squeaky airway - they plan to do a broncoscopy, which is a small camera that they will put down her throat to look are her airway. Because of her squeaking noises and sometimes seeming to be breathing hard to get air, they want to make sure there is nothing they need to do before she comes home. She has to be sedated for this procedure too, so Lord willing - that will go well and we can look forward to bringing her home within 2 weeks :)

Almost There :)

Ari is doing very well. She is going into a regular crib today. She has been taking her bottles for some of her feeds and I've even had the chance to breastfeed her a few times. Her weight is 3lbs 13oz! She still very squeaky from the tubes going in and out. So when she takes the bottle, she sounds like she can't breathe and makes loud squeaky noises, but she's fine.

She's still taking some medications by mouth for things like her liver and thyroid. Ari also still requires oxygen, but these are all things she can come home with. We're just waiting for her to take her bottle on all her feedings and she can come home. They think she can come in 3-4 weeks :) We Can't Wait!

Our Little Miracle

Here's a little clip of our past 2 months. She's come a long way. Thank you all for being there along the way. Although we still have a way to go, we hope to have her home soon.

2 months ~ 3lbs 5oz

On very little oxygen.

Hoping to bottle feed next week :)

2 months - 3lbs 2oz

Ari has made it to her 3lb mark. Amazingly she has never lost weight, only gained. She is on cpap again (like a nasal cannula that blows air), off the ventilator since Saturday. She has been doing well and we just pray that she continues to do well. This is the longest she's gone breathing on her own.

Thank you all for your continued prayers.

Plan for Now

Ari is back on the ventilator. I got a call at 1am, she had stopped breathing because she just got too tired and they had to put her back on the ventilator. I went to see her and she looks much more comfortable being back on. Unfortunately, she has to do this on her own, so they will put her back on steroids to reduce the swelling in her throat and take it out again. The longer they keep the tube in the worse it will be, so for 24 hrs she will get the medication and they will try her again.

Hopefully, this time she will fly. However, if she can't they will put a scope down her throat to see what's going on. And if all is normal, they will consider doing a trach at that time. If she can't make it on her own right now, the trach will allow her to breathe comfortably on her own until the swelling resolves itself, so God willing, it would be temporary.

This morning I said to Ari, God had us there for a reason and He has a plan, He is teaching us many things. Some of you may know, when I worked as a nurse's assistant one of the things I had a hard time working with were people with trachs. So when the nurse told me that, I thought, "Wow, what a way to humble me."

I want everyone to know that even though this is the hardest thing Carlos and I have had to go thru, we know God is in control and is doing all this for good. Believe me it's not easy, I have never cried the way I have cried for Ari, but the fact that God has a purpose and He may change lives for good - I know mine is - in the end it was worth it. I've thought of how Mary had to watch her Son, Jesus, be beaten and killed and I've thought of the movie The Passion and now can still only relate in such a small way what she felt. And then to think it was for us. I can't imagine the pain God feels for us, He's losing us daily. I hope we can encourage someone to "live each day as though it were your last," put your trust in God, more importantly give your heart to Him. Only because of Him we have peace in this storm.

Tube Came Out While Papi Held Her

The night before last Carlos went to visit Ari and while he held her (for about 2 minutes) her tube came out. Since the tube is taped to her face, he couldn't see that it was no longer down her throat, but he could hear her making noises which we don't hear with the tube in. Along with the tube coming out, alarms were set off. But since the alarms go off for so many different things, it took them a few seconds to realize it was because the tube was out. Ari is able to breathe on her own but starts having trouble after a while. So when they realized it, there was a rush of people, she was immediately removed from Carlos' arms. Believe me, this was more traumatizing for Carlos than it was for Ari.

Ari was put on cpap (like the nasal cannula). She has been working really hard to keep breathing on her own. I walked in yesterday to see her chest caving in because she was struggling so much. Her right lung collapsed again. The problem is the swelling in her throat and airway because of the tube going in and out so much. They are giving her medication for the swelling and medication that reminds her to keep breathing. I wanted to stay with her all night, but Carlos wouldn't let me :( I know he means well. So I just called them all thru the night to check on her.

She hasn't had the tube put back in. She had a rough night. I was really hard watching her but I understand why they are doing this. I saw some nurses panicking and wanting to have her to have the tube put back in again, but when the doctor explained that we need to give her a full chance to do this, the oxygen levels in her blood have been fine and she maintains her oxygen with a few episodes of her levels dropping. He explained with the tube out, they can work on the swelling coming down and she'll be fine.

In a perfect world, no one would go thru this. I just held her hand all day and only left her side because I had to use the bathroom. I told her she had to be a big/little girl and for her, this was part of growing up. More importantly reminded her she was in God's hand and that was the best place to be.

7 Weeks Old - 2lbs. 11oz.

Ariana has been improving once again. She still on the ventilator but on very low setting. She will be off this week, they will try her again on cpap or maybe even vapor derm (nasal cannula). I kangaroo held her today: that is holding her on my chest skin to skin, they say it helps in their development. She can hear my heart beat, like when she was in the womb. I loved it.

All her tests for infections to her organs have been negative. They were not successful with the spinal tap, unfortunately, after quite a few attempts. They said they may try again Monday to make sure there is no infection in the spinal fluid but tests have been negative for her having any infection so I will see if we can do away with that one. Her poor little back has all these stick marks, where I thought they tried 3 times and it doesn't look that way. But she is in God's hands, it's the best place to be. So even when I feel like being an angry mom, I remind myself of who is really in control.

You can see by the pictures, she wakes up now with eyes wide open. She's doing well taking my breast milk and is taking the maximum amount she can take right now. She loves her pacifier too.

Update

Ariana has been up and down for the past 2 weeks. I wasn't even sure what to post in the blog since she has been going thru many changes. Yesterday I went from holding her in the morning, she looked really good and comfortable to later come in to her being intibated again (put back on ventilator) and being tested for many things. They began looking at all her organs since she continued to test positive for a bacteria after being on antibiotics. They said once an infection is in the body for so long it could attach itself to organs; so they checked her brain, heart, kidneys, and did a spinal tap. They were not successful in getting the fluid they needed in the spinal tap and are suppose to repeat it today. However, today's blood results were negative for bacteria, so the infection may be resolving, now waiting to see if they will still want to redo the spinal tap.

They also want to test her for cystic fibrosis, because of the amount of mucous she's been having and her difficulty breathing. However, today her nurse told me she was tested for that when she was first born and it was negative. So I'm waiting to find out if they will rule that out.

Yesterday was tough, we went from being great in the morning to not stable in the afternoon. I don't know what to pray for anymore, I'm just thankful we have all of you out there praying for us.

Roller Coaster Ride

This week has been full of many ups and downs. Ariana was taken off the ventilator and put back on about 3 times...she's back on the ventilator. And she started not acting like herself, not moving all around and just sleeping and being really out of it. They think she has another infection somewhere and are running test. Carlos and I prayed for her this morning and we are trusting God to continue His healing work in her.

Back on Ventilator

Ariana had to be put back on the ventilator this morning. They are running tests to see if she has pneumonia. We appreciate your continued prayers.

Off the Ventilator

Ari is off the ventilator and breathing on her own! On Saturday they took her off and put her on Cpap, it puffs air in her nose, like a nasal cannula. She's been doing really well. Her heart rate is lower than it has ever been, she always had a high rate on the ventilator. She also being fed 6cc of milk and doing well...she was being fed 1cc on Friday. So she is making progress.

She weighs 2lbs 7oz...she is gaining weight too :)

And we held her this weekend for the first time...it was amazing. She was so peaceful. I wanted to hold all night and not let her go.

Soon to be off ventilator

Ari has been doing really well. Soon she will be off the ventilator. They say that will be her next hurdle, breathing on her own with the help of CPAP, which simply puffs air in her nose to encourage or reminds her to keep breathing....a nurse described it like sticking your head out of a car window while it's moving...the wind makes you take a deep breath.

She's been doing better with tolerating her milk. Just having a hard time staying on a "pooping" schedule. I guess breathing, digesting the milk, and pooping is too much to process all at once :)

1 Month

Ari is doing very well :) She will soon be off the ventilator. Her swelling has come down. She's being fed after 2 weeks of no milk. She was so active this weekend. She cried - not that we heard her - but we could see her expressions, which tell us she is very alert. I felt so bad for her she was crying and even though I couldn't hear her, I could feel her cry. We are so grateful to be at this point, we have been feeling such relief this weekend as we continue to hear of her improvements each day. I'm afraid to take it all for granted and just keep reminding myself to appreciate each moment...even with our older ones.

Mia (the 11 yr. old) sang at a concert this weekend and I listened to her play her violin and was so pleased with her and her talent.

Aliyah (the 8 yr. old) is my right hand girl, she's so helpful and willing to serve.

Mikayla (the 4 yr. old) has been so happy, laughing, being silly, and jumpy...she wasn't always this happy so it's really nice to see her full of joy. And she loves Jesus - she reminds us every day.

DJ (the 3 yr. old) is the one who expresses his love and concern for Ari the most. He asks for her everyday and always prays for her. He woke up one day and told me he had a dream about Ari...very deep dream I will have to put in another post.

We are grateful for each one and each moment God gives us.

Almost 1 Month Old

Ari continues to get better. You see in the latest picture of her, she is swollen. They have been giving her medication to get rid of the fluids and to help with the swelling, however, as long as she's on the oscillator and being sedated, she will continue to have the edema. Her oxygen levels have been improving, they have held off on the steroids for now because she has shown improvement each day. She hasn't been fed yet, but has no more bile coming out of her stomach.

Each day I thank God for showing me how He has His hands on her and is taking care of her.

3 Wks Old

Ari just had a great weekend, compared to how she's been doing. She's been maintaining her oxygen levels and the line in her stomach came out. With the line out of her stomach, we will be able to hold her soon...I can't wait! They haven't fed her yet, as she continues to have bile coming out of her stomach so they will be checking her stomach in the next day or so. She didn't need blood all weekend, which was also nice since they had given her blood almost every other day the past week. They will look into started steroids on her this week, since her lungs aren't functioning as well as they should be at this point.

I helped the nurse check her temperature, change her diaper, and wipe her face and Ari handled it really well. She gets really annoyed at times when she has this done and she fights this hands on care and gets worked up, then her oxygen levels drop. Only when I was wiping her eyes, she did get touchy and I did have to stop and put my hands on her without moving to calm her. She lets us know what she doesn't like. Like the saying goes, "Actions speak louder than words." She can't speak, but she can stop breathing to be left alone...and she turns red.

I met a lady this weekend whose baby was born last Dec. at 23 wks. They told her there was a 95% chance her baby wouldn't make it. Her daughter had a lot of complications. Her due date was today and her daughter is 8lbs and learning to eat and breathe at the same time...then she will be ready to go home. God is amazing, He is in control of our lives. If we look around us and see all the things in this world and look at life and these little creations...how could there be no God?

To All The Brothers and Their Family

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Carlos really enjoyed being out with you guys. Words cannot express our appreciation for your generous gifts. I just wanted Carlos to have a break and you guys went above and beyond your call of duty.

To all the wives, thank you for letting your hubbies out for the night :) The way you all have supported us has just been blessings added on to our abundance of blessings.

We have just been humbled by the way everyone has stood up to serve us in such special ways.

Day 19

Ariana has continued to improve this week. They are continuing her antibiotics for another 3 days, which she's been on for her stomach/intestine infection. She has a line in her stomach which they plan on taking out tomorrow, this is the one they give her transfusions from, which they have given her a lot of them. The line in her stomach has been in for over 2 wks now and is a source for infection, so they need to take it out. So they will put a line in her wrist so they have another area to give her blood. Her other wrist has her picc line and one leg has a line for her thyroid medicine, which they started her on yesterday. So she has one little leg free of lines. We continue to trust soon she will be free of all these lines, healthy, strong, and in our arms.

She continues to be sedated but is still very active, so they may give another medicine to get her to calm down more. She's had many wet diapers this morning, which is good, she's getting rid of all the fluid she's holding. She weighed around 2lb 3oz last night and that's going from 1lb 9oz a few nights ago...and she hasn't been fed - so with the wet diapers some of the swelling should come down.

She's getting there slowly - God's teaching us some serious patience!

Day 17

Ari continues to be a little fighter. They have her on a 7 day course of antibiotics for an infection in her stomach. She's still on the oscillator and being sedated. They actually went up on her sedation because she gets very agitated and her oxygen levels drop. One nurse said being sedated doesn't faze her, she keeps moving all around, as we all say, "She is feisty."

To All the Guys:
Thank you for getting Carlos out. You all work fast. He's looking forward to Friday and I am too.

Thanks again to everyone for all your prayers and well wishes. We have been so blessed with meals and my family has been great at taking our other 4 kids so we can spend time with Ari. Now if I can just get someone to do our laundry and clean, we will be all set :) I'm kidding! We have been taken care greatly by all of you in one way or another - I can't say it enough - Thank you!

2 Weeks Old

Ariana has been having a hard time with quite a few things. She continues to have trouble breathing and maintaining her oxygen levels consistent throughout the day. She had to get blood transfusions 3 days in a row, they stopped her feedings because she was not able to tolerate them, she's on antibiotics because they think there may be an infection, she just started medication for her low blood pressure, they are checking her for a heart murmur again, as they suspect there still may be one there, even though they said it was taken care of with the last treatment, while she's on the oscillator she's being sedated to keep her calm since it's constantly shaking her but it has caused her to swell because she's not moving around like before.

Dad has gotten better with her episodes - when her oxygen drops. She had one that lasted what seemed like forever, he remained calm from beginning to end. The doctor recommended getting her books and reading to her, I read to her the other day and she seemed so calm and sucked on her pacifier while I read - it was really cute.

Keep the prayers coming.

Day 12

Today Ariana's ventilator was changed to one called an oscillator. She has not been able to keep her oxygen levels up, which we thought after the heart murmur was taken care of, she would have better oxygen levels. The oscillator pumps about 600 puffs a minute, where the ventilator did 6 per minute.

So today I will walk in to see her shake on her bed while on the oscillator because of the amount of puffs, it makes them shake. But the nurse assured me that she wasn't taken steps back, it was just a different type of ventilator to help her keep her oxygen levels up.

Praise

As soon as I finished "Day 10" posting, I called the hospital to check on Ariana. The nurse said she doesn't hear the heart murmur, and she's not even finished her treatment. She also got a picture of her with her eyes opened :) As she changed her, she took her eye mask off and she opened her eyes - we don't have a picture with her eyes opened.

I will admit, I woke up this morning in tears, really missing her and thought it was going to be a hard day. And in 1 hour of being awake - God once again showed me his glory and love for us.

Day 10

First we need to say, "Thank you!" All your prayers, words, and meals :) have been such a blessing to us. We have truly been humbled by the way everyone has reached out to us.

Ariana continues to be a little fighter. Her jaundice is getting better and she is down to one light, she had 2 over her and one she laid on. All of her head ultrasounds have remained the same, which means the bleeding has stopped or not gotten worse. So they were able to start treatment for her heart murmur, which has been giving her hard time breathing.

When the heart murmur is resolved, her oxygen levels will improve, allowing them to soon take her off the ventilator. If the valve in the heart is still open after this treatment, they do another cycle of treatment. They continue this treatment provided there is no bleeding in the brain, which they monitor. She has lines going in her stomach that will come out soon and she will get a regular IV. When these are all resolved - we get to hold her :) We look forward to that, even though it's at least a week or so away. So for now we simply look forward to the jaundice being resolved completely so the last light can go and her eyes can be uncovered. Right now her eyes are covered and we rarely get to see them uncovered.

This process is all about “baby steps.”

Story:
The other day we were at the hospital and her oxygen levels began to drop. She was uncomfortable, Carlos wanted the nurse to come over right away and she was with another family. I, trying to always stay calm, told him to calm down and the nurse would come over – her machines were beeping. (Ariana has one nurse assigned to her only, the nurse knew we were with her and was being kind to another family) Anyhow, Carlos is flipping at this point telling me not to tell him to calm down, his daughter is having trouble breathing and I want him to calm down. I calmly ask the nurse if it’s normal for her oxygen levels to be going down to the 70’s and she calmly said no and came over. (I worked at a hospital and know the little sticker that they put on to read the oxygen isn’t always on right and also she may drop and bring herself back to normal levels so I wasn’t just ignoring the fact that she could be having a hard time.)

Anyway, the nurse did increase her settings to help her breathe better. Carlos was ready to leave at this point, that was enough for him, he was worked up and mad at me. I explained to him it was called, “balance.” We balance each other out, where he flips and wants to “demand” results; I feel I will be better heard by asking and understanding the situation before “requesting” results.

Easter Sunday - 1 week old

Today she's a week old.

Her ultrasound results were the same, the bleeding had not changed. They will continue to do ultrasounds and monitor the bleeding.

She's been having a hard time breathing and they've had to increase her ventilator. She had an episode while Carlos and I were with her, it was hard.

Our prayers today are that her lungs will be strengthen and she will be able to breathe comfortably.

Pictures

We’ve posted some pictures. She is under a tent which allows the nurses and doctors to get to her quickly and easily, since they are constantly checking her. So the pictures are not the best.

We were hesitant to post them since they are not what we want to remember: the tubes and her delicate body. She’s also jaundice and has the lights on her and her eyes covered. But since we are trusting God to bring her out of this, we wanted everyone to witness this miracle. We look forward to posting the pictures of her free of all the things she has hooked up to her now.

Good Friday - Day 5

Ariana continues to be a little miracle. Today the issue we face is a second ultrasound of her brain, yesterday they saw a little bleeding. Today's ultrasound will show if there's is more than yesterday or if it has stopped. Everything else is stable.

It's Good Friday - we remember Jesus this weekend and His sacrifice and it reminds me how awesome He is and that He can do anything ~ that includes giving Ari the strength to get through this time.

25 Weeks - She's Here

Ariana
Weighted: 1lb. 8oz
Length: 13 1/2 in

She decided she didn't want to wait. My placenta ruptured and I went into labor on Saturday. Carlos was in P.R. visiting his sick uncle and got on the next flight out of P.R.

She was very active in the womb throughout the night, which kept us all positive, that she was a strong little fighter.I was going to have an emergency C-section Sunday morning and while waiting for the Anesthesiologist, Ariana decided to be born - legs first. I got to see her briefly, and I thought she looked just like daddy. Aside from normal preemie issues, she is doing well.

Keep us in your prayers. We have appreciated all the well wishes.