Almost 9 Months

Ariana has had more doctor visits than I would like, however, I have so much to be grateful for. Yesterday we went to the doctor's office because her symptoms of croup are coming back. I explained to the doctor, which happen to be the same one she saw at the hospital, that we saw an allergist and he prescribed pulmicort and xopenex, an asthma preventative/anti-nflammatory. And I told him it helped, however I was concerned if it was croup, how the treatments would negatively affect her. It was interesting to hear him say that it appears this may be a form of asthma and he didn't think about that when she was in the hospital, but since she saw the allergist and the treatments were helping to continue and actually increase one. He said if it was croup, she would have to come to ER if it happened over the weekend. I just praised God for mother's instincts, because this was the doctor that told me she did not need to go to an allergist. It's a great reminder that God's hands are on Ariana.

Today she got her synergis shot, which prevents RSV, so she is not a happy camper.

Next Thursday we see the Pulmonologist.

Back Home

We got home yesterday. Ariana is doing better but still not 100%. I was discouraged because they say to just be prepared to make these trips throughout the winter months. They say she was born at 25 weeks and with the narrow airway, colds will affect her this way. They won't prescribe the epi treatments for home use, which is the only reason I would need to go to the ER. I feel like I have to expose her to many other illnesses by taking her to the ER if the offices are closed which they usually are when she has gotten bad. I know I have to trust there is a reason for this, but I just want more answers. We are even wondering if there's something triggering it in the house. It's so hard to not want to try and take full control to get all the answers, but I know I also need to let God be in control and have faith in His amazing love that will not fail us.

At The Hospital

Ari was admitted to the hospital today. We hope she will be sent home tomorrow. Last night she was having trouble breathing again. This time to the point that her oxygen levels began dropping and she turned blue. We still have oxygen and were able to immediately get her on it and I rushed her to the closest ER...which was Virtua. Virtua gave her steroids and a treatment and had her transferred to Cooper so she could receive better care.

God is so good. About a month ago I told the doctor we did not need the oxygen anymore and he said lets keep it for another month and see how she does; since she had croup 2x. If we did not have that oxygen last night; it would have been so hard waiting for an ambulance.

I'm just taking a break and need to get back to her. Daddy is at the hospital with her while I came home to rest a bit and shower before heading back for the night.

2nd Hospital Visit

Last night I took Ari to the ER with croup again. It's the 3rd time she has it in 2 1/2 months. She was given steroids and a treatment. But this time her breathing still sounds bad so I was concerned. They asked me if I wanted to keep at the hospital but that would only expose her to more. So I decided to bring her home, we still have her oxygen/heart rate monitor and oxygen that we can use; so hopefully the steroids will bring the swelling in her throat down and we wont need to do anything else.

At the ER she gave a me a huge scare. They were holding off on giving her a treatment which would reduce the swelling in her throat because the doctor originally did not think she had croup (mother's usually know best). I kept asking for it and he would kinda brush it off and say it doesn't sound like croup. Within minutes her oxygen levels started dropping and she appeared to be gasping for air. She was trying to cry but couldn't get enough air to do so. I called the doctor in and he immediately handed me the oxygen mask and called for the treatment "stat" and other doctors. They started listening to her chest for air moving and I had to hold her down and hold the mask on her face while they checked her and waited for the treatment to kick in. And it did kick in quickly, even though it seemed like forever. She calmed down and just looked in my eyes with a scared look, the way she'd look at me when she was in the hospital. She was sleeping within minutes after that. I was shaking, I hadn't realizing how much it scared me. I realized the doctor also got a scare, as he told Ari, "Don't ever scare me like that again."

I slept with her all night. Her breathing still sounds bad and last time she didn't sound so bad after leaving the hospital. So I just need to ask God for discernment and trust Him in this.

Bath Time, Then and Now!

She's in the same bath tub.

1st ER Visit...All Better Now

I had to take Ari to the ER on Monday. Overnight she started having trouble breathing and it sounded like croup again. This time it just developed over a few hours and I was concerned about waiting a few more hours for the doctors' office to open...it was 430am. I called the doctor and they told me to take her right in. She was given steroids and an epi treatment (sort of like an asthma treatment - however it treats inflammation in the upper airway and up to the throat area). They monitored her until 1pm and sent us home. Thank God we didn't have to stay.

Aside from a stuffy nose, she has been fine. I wondered what God was trying to show me this weekend. I was in the ER with Mikayla on Saturday. DJ wanted to play fight and was hitting her, while she tried to get away, she slipped and fell. She bled - a lot! She got 4 stitches under her eye...she slept as they stitched her up. She did great and after she said, "Mommy, I don't want DJ to get punished, I forgive him." It was great to see her heart for DJ. Afterwards, she picked out a toy for her and one for DJ. She taught me a great lesson that night.

Our Scare Last Night

Last night Ari cried every time I put her down. The only way she would stay calm was by laying (lying - not sure which one...I always struggled with this in school) on me. She does not cry much and she cried as if she was in pain. This went on til about 2am, I thought we'd end up in the ER, thank God we didn't. Finally I put her on her belly on her boppy pillow between my legs, I put her monitor on, and went to sleep - kinda. (Please note the only reason I can put her on a boppy pillow, on her belly is because she is on a monitor that will alarm if her oxygen or heart rate drop...I don't recommend anyone do this!)

I think she may have just had a tummy ache, but still trying to figure it out. I'll be keeping a close eye on her to see if anything throughout today triggers it again.

I had a tough day yesterday, so to end it that way was hard. I could not help but think about what would happen if we did go to the ER and everything she would go thru, I couldn't help but think if it could be signs of the "stuff" they say she's at risk for, a lot went thru my mind. It's so easy to take our focus off of our trust in the fact that all things in our lives happen for our own good, when our faith is in God.

Today God put it in my heart to praise Him through the storm, to focus on Jesus and I won't sink. My daughter forgot her binders and called me for the second day in a row, begging me to take her binders to school or she'd be in big trouble. I usually let them get in trouble because I feel they need to learn responsibility and if I bail them out all the time, how would they learn it. But I took them, and as I drove to her school and back I listened to a song that said, "thru the storm, yet I will praise Him, thru good and bad You remain the same, King of Kings." It encouraged me and reminded me that God does not change.

New Pic!!!

We went to the zoo this past weekend and had a great time. The older two are part of Children Song Choir and they performed at the zoo - we got free tickets :) I almost left Carlos with the monkeys but then I figured I needed him.

A little side note:
This weekend Carlos and I also went to Harvest 08, it was a Christian Crusade, with a great speaker, Greg Laurie. It was pretty cool to see a bunch of Jesus Freaks and those who weren't but were saved by the end of the night...they said the first night almost 1000 people committed their lives to Christ. We really got to think of eternity...Greg Laurie's son died a few months ago at the age of 33, in a car accident and it shows us that each day is not promised; we can die at any time and where do we want to spend eternity at.

Back to our little miracle - she's 12lb 6oz. I'm trying to get her into her own room. It was hard enough getting her bassinet away from our bed and against the wall; so we will see how that goes. She is talking away, a lot of cooing. She is just a good baby, she fights falling asleep at times, but rarely cries.

This weekend we may go back to my parents house in the Poconos...I'll keep you posted ;o)

Sorry - It's been awhile...

Hi Everyone, Sorry for taking so long to give an update or pics. I will post new pics soon. Life has been a little crazy. My dad had heart surgery about 2wks ago, my brother moved to Florida (which Carlos and I helped with and drove down), I'm trying to start homeschooling, and now we are all sick (almost all of us).

My dad is doing ok, I've been helping out with caring for him so it's taking a lot of my time. The drive to Florida was an experience. We took Ari with us, she did great, until our ride back and she had enough of her car seat. We drove straight down Friday, with my brother's step son and their dog - 22hrs with many stops. We checked in to a hotel at around midnight, then the dog was fascinated with Ariana and just wanted to love on her. He is a 75lb boxer, so once we got him settled in his cage, we slept. Ariana didn't seem to mind him licking her feet. Saturday we helped get things unloaded from the truck, mostly Carlos helped while I stayed with Ari. Then we headed back to Jersey. We stopped Saturday night and Sunday night since Ariana protested loudly when I put her in her car seat. Her poor bottom was sore, she cried whenever I changed her diaper too :(

We got back Monday and she had a scheduled doctor's appt. and is doing great. She weighed 11lbs. 6oz. She's eating cereal and loving it. She tries to grab her toys, loves to have her hands in her mouth, and smiles a lot. Monday Carlos came back sick and yesterday Ari and I woke up sick. Kayla is also sick, Aliyah is getting over being sick, DJ showed signs of a runny nose this morning, and Mia was sick last week. Ari is breathing very loud so I'm taking her to get checked later this afternoon.

We have pics from our Florida trip...I will post them soon. Thank you all for your patience and dedication to checking on Ariana.

First Cold

Ari woke up yesterday with a stuffy nose :( I put saline drops and suctioned her nose all day and night. In spite of it, she's been fine. No coughing, thank God! We thought of calling the doctor but since the stuffy nose is the only symptom...I think she's fine.

First Weekend Getaway

We spent this past weekend at the Poconos with the kids, Abuelito and Abuelita Vazquez. We had a great time. It was nice to be able to go away with Ari for the weekend and not have to worry about oxygen or even the monitors. She's still on the monitors but mostly at night. She should be close to 9lb this week. We have an appt. on Thurs. for a check up since she is done with meds.

Finally, here are some new pics and videos. I always try to remind myself where we were and where God has brought us.

Almost 5 mo. but Really 1 1/2 mo.

Hi Everyone, Ari was 8lb 4oz at last weeks appt. She has been gaining 1lb every 2wks. I need to get new pics. I feel bad not posting new ones, I've been very busy. My sister is babysitting Ari while I get my house cleaned and organized. I feel like this house has gotten out of control and I haven't been able to get a handle on it. And Ari loves to just be held (it's all our own fault). We are actually trying to work on putting her down more since we have spent some days holding her practically all day. It's a blessing to have Sharon sit with her while I do house stuff.

Recently I have been struggling with her age - almost 5mo but really 1 1/2. We have been getting out more and every time someone asks how old she is, I don't know what to say without feeling like I'm rambling on or trying to explain her age. It's weird and sad because I know people will look at her and think she's really small. Or maybe I fear people will think something is wrong with her - I don't know why I have a hard time on "how I should answer this question." I think that rolls into this other feeling I have - she's been a newborn for 5 mo. You know how people say to their little ones, "I wish you stayed like this forever." I don't. I realized God gave us stages in everything in life for a reason. Our children grow up for a reason. And for those special moms and dads of kids with disabilities such as not ever going beyond a certain age mentally - God has given them an astounding amount of grace. Ari doesn't smile on purpose yet (only when she's half asleep), she's doesn't reach for things, or hold things, and since I've been out and seen other babies her age - it's made me think of this. Don't get me wrong - she has come such a long way and she is amazing. I guess I'm just getting anxious.

Tomorrow I'm doing the kids yearly pics that I do. So I should have new pics by the weekend.

4 Months

Ariana is 7lb 8oz and 19 1/4 in. long. She got her 4mo. immunizations the other day and we heard her scream and cry the loudest we've ever heard her. It was a bitter sweet moment. I didn't know she had such a voice. Since she has the soft trach (trachial malaysia) from the tubes going in and out of her throat, her voice is still squeaky and she doesn't have a loud cry...until the other day. I guess 3 shots would give anyone a voice :(

She continues to be an amazing little girl. She loves to be held and talked too. I love to watch her eyes and expressions when I talk to her. I often remember all the times I couldn't hold her and when I hold her now, I can't help but continuously thank God for giving me/us that opportunity each and every day. God continues to bless us through Ariana and show us so much of His glory.

Broke 6lbs :)

She has been such a blessing to our family. She weighed 6lb. 1oz at her last visit to the doctor. She also passed all her developmental tests. Nights can go either way, while she's not a screamer, she is sometimes fussy. And of course, any little move she makes, I'm up looking at her. She is only on oxygen for her feeds and will be off very soon. Her monitor hasn't gone off much, thank God, cause when it does...it scares us out of our sleep. She's just amazing. Carlos is just in love with her.

Home

We couldn't imagine this day coming soon enough. We have been so grateful to have her home. Ari is doing well. She weighs 5lbs. 3oz. and maintaining her 17 1/2 in. for some time now. But the cheeks and those chinS keep growing.

Once she falls asleep at night, she's a good sleeper, well good meaning 5 hrs; only because I'm really not suppose to let her go past 4hrs yet. Getting her to settle down seems to be the challenge. She falls asleep by 1am on a good night and 3am on a "I just want to held" night...which I'd gladly do if I could stay awake. She's amazing. The kids are just crazy about her and so happy she's home. We are so blessed.

Coming Home Today!

Ariana comes home today! She had her tests (eyes, mri, and camera in airway) and all is well. She was put back on the nasal cannula, so she will be home on oxygen, a monitor, and medications. We are so excited yet very nervous. Thank you all again for your support during this time. Now we begin a new phase, we look forward to making you all a part of it.

Ari in Action

Here's a little video clip of this beautiful little girl God has blessed us with. I can sit and watch her for hours and am reminded of how awesome God is and everything He did and is still doing.

No More Tubes!

Yesterday Ari was taken off her oxygen, except for when she's taking her bottle. And her feeding tube was taken out. We can finally see her cute little face without anything on it. Last night's nurse said she was up most of the night. I thought it was great because she's more alert and interested in looking around but felt bad because I wish I could be there to hold her.

We know she'll be home before we know it. We are in the final stages. Monday she has an MRI, Tuesday the camera down her throat, and a 12 hour test that will check her heart rate and oxygen levels. Carlos and I get to watch a few videos on car seats, CPR, and care. Finally, we will bring our car seat in and they will begin to sit her in it to get her ready for riding in it and to ensure she maintains her oxygen levels. And the day she leaves we will learn how to use the monitor she will come home on. This week we also will begin working with the kids on washing hands constantly and using hand sanitizer constantly. All of this will happen within the next few days.